Interpersonal Conflicts in Life(Part 2,Just for fun)

I just came up with two stories while thinking about what to write in my blog post and i thought why not share both of them with you all.This is my unofficial blog but it's pretty interesting to read.So here's my blog,just for fun.

Conflict is part of every relationship. If you have a relationship, conflicts are bound to happen. The most important point is how you react and respond to those interpersonal conflicts and up to what level are you successful.

I faced a similar interpersonal conflict recently with my friend from junior college, back in India named Rahul.

Rahul was the cool guy of the college, good at playing football, captain of football team, lead guitarist in a band. Despite being the famous guy in college he was a down to earth fellow, and both of us got along very well as friends. I, on the other hand was a girl focused on my studies and least bothered about guys and relationships. Since Rahul and I were great friends, my colleagues were always under the impression that there was something going on between us. Both of us never paid attention to these rumors because we valued our friendship more than anything else.

After a few months in JC, some of Rahul’s friends apparently made him believe that I liked him a lot and since he never approached me in that way, I was hiding my feelings from him.

Rahul believed his friends and once when we were chatting on Gtalk, he started flirting around with me.

He said all the nicest things possible, about me being pretty, sensible, simple and that he liked me a lot.

First I was a little surprised on reading his messages but then I apparently thought he was just fooling around and joking as always and I decided to play along with him. So, I replied with all the romantic answers possible to his messages. We both didn’t realize that anything was wrong.

While chatting he had asked me out on a date to some posh restaurant and I had replied “Sure, why not! That would be great”. I really didn’t think it over before replying. I thought he was just flirting.

So, on the day when we had decided to go on a date he actually came over to my house all dressed up and I got the shock of my life seeing him. I just started laughing without even bothering to ask him whether he was serious. He got too embarrassed and sad and left without a word. After he left, it struck me that he might have been hurt.Now, the situation was reversed, and I thought Rahul liked me and I had hurt him by laughing on his face and he thought that I along with his friends had played this dirty joke on him.

Over the next few weeks, both of us avoided each other and never even talked about what had been the actual problem.

Sometime later, in one project we were put together as a group and had to work together. It was during that time that we started talking to each other a little and then finally I gained my strength to apologize to him about the incident that had occurred and I told him that I didn’t know that he liked me. Rahul was quite surprised on hearing this and said that he had come on the date because he thought I liked him and that’s why I had agreed on dating him online and then after reaching there he had finally realized that he was made a fool.

That was the moment of clarification and after that we both realized what had actually happened. We had a hearty laugh about that incident and we returned back being good friends again.

I just wonder if actually we wouldn’t have been put in group together what would have happened. Any suggestions on what were our mistakes and what should we have done earlier to resolve it?

Interpersonal Conflicts In Life

Every relationship undergoes its phase of interpersonal conflicts which either strengthens the bond of the relationship or weakens it completely. I saw a similar conflict between two best friends in my college, back in India.

I had two classmates named Varsha and Rita in my batch. Both of them were very intelligent, smart and close competitors in studies. Despite being close competitors, they were best friends. The only difference between them was in their nature; Varsha was a friendly person with high emotional intelligence who could easily associate and mingle with people around her; on the other hand, Rita lacked the social skills and kept to herself.

Soon after the JC started, the college was buzzing with the news of student president elections. The fact that the president was to be chosen from our batch had aroused much enthusiasm from my colleagues and all had been excited about the upcoming event. Rita and Varsha were amongst the people who got nominated by the teachers for the post. They were both quite excited on being nominated and desperately wanted one amongst them to win.

A few days later, the campaigning for the elections started. Both the girls worked very hard and tried their best to gain support from the crowd of students.But,seeing Varsha attract more people due to her social skills, pangs of jealousy started rising within Rita and she started behaving rudely with her friend. Varsha, on the other hand just ignored Rita’s weird behavior thinking that campaigning might be stressing her friend out.

On the day of results, it was announced that both Rita and Varsha had had a very narrow gap between the numbers of votes but Varsha had emerged out as a winner finally. Rita felt miserable at her loss and left the stage without congratulating her friend.

Meanwhile, Varsha decided to throw a party for her success. She went to invite her best friend first for the celebrations but Rita mistook Varsha’s gestures for invitation to the party as a mockery on her failure and she rudely snubbed Varsha away saying that she didn’t want to attend any useless party. Varsha felt very bad after listening to such harsh comments and left without a word.

A rift was created between the two friends.

The main problem seen in the above situation is the lack of emotional intelligence in Rita and the misunderstanding/miscommunication between the two friends. The lack of emotional intelligence in Rita makes her showcase her jealousy, anger, sadness(lack of “Self Management” and “Social Awareness”) in front of everyone which makes her all the more unpopular. Also, she mistakes Varsha’s friendly invitation to celebrate success with her as a taunt on her loss which causes a misunderstanding to crop up between the two friends and they walk away from each other.

According to me, to solve this, the best way could be that both of them meet up, talk to each other and try to understand the emotions and feelings of each other. Varsha, being the one with high EQ should approach first and try to understand Rita’s reasons for being rude and explain to her the real purpose of the party invitation, and Rita, on the other hand, should try and figure out her own fault and listen to Varsha’s arguments.

What do you think will be the best way to solve this dispute?

Importance of Effective Communication

In this world, effective communication is crucial in all aspects of life, be it business, job, or friendship. The ideas that a person possesses, no matter how brilliant they are, would turn futile if that person is unable to share them with others. Therefore, to achieve success in all endeavors, it is essential to communicate effectively.

I am pursuing a course in computer engineering. After graduating I would want take up a job in some big software company (e.g. Microsoft).To get into such a big company would involve not only excellent technical skills but also effective communication skills; skills to write an excellent job resume, application letter and give an outstanding interview. The competition in this era has increased so much that companies seek people with good communication skills as their first choice in job interviews since the technical skills are more or less same for everyone. Doing well in interviews involves not only knowledge in the subject but also no nervousness or stammering in voice, right facial expressions, correct use of gestures, nonverbal cues and a confident look; all of which comes if you are good in your communication skills. Also, working in software companies involves teamwork, presentation skills and writing concrete project proposals which are again a part of effective communication.

Therefore, it is extremely important for me to be good at communication and be able to convey my message across to others even if they are from a different culture or country; or possess a different accent.